Design and Culture Thoughts of the Day

Both of the Facebook communities I’ve started have successfully connected people in their profession. Bay Area Womxn In Games is a place people turn to to find jobs and connect for collaborations. Bay Electronic Music Performers has been a place where people team up with other musicians to form a lineup at a show. I’ve learned so much from both and I’m now a master networker. Both groups are self sustaining and other people have kept it up of their own accord. There’s no business license or anything involved. It’s more of a social impact thing. I’m creating the future. The scenes that I want to see. Honestly now that I’ve made my bed in both groups, I sort of have to decide if I want to lay in them. Womxn in Games...  as proud of it as I am, may not be my permanent home. I’m no longer in games, I am sorry to say, and I feel it’s too idealistic to be in them again. Namely because I don’t usually find my kind of tribe, my kind of people in Games. It sucks. I’m interested in indie...

"Are you going to do it, or are you going to make me do it? Can I hand you this work and walk away and when I come back... can it magically be made perfect, just like I expected?" "I don't want to tell you what to do because I'm afraid it's bossing you around. And I have no idea how to ask nicely if you need help." "... You expected guidance? Why didn't you tell me? I can't read your mind!" None of us can. :p I can't believe it when I find myself still dealing with these kinds of communication breakdowns as a professional adult. It's just the same as deciding who is going to vacuum the house, and how often, back when I was living in the dorms freshmen year. Roles and role relationships need to be set in stone, pre-decided and discussed thoroughly. With visual diagrams on the overall pipeline. Otherwise all of this tug-of-war is just unsustainable. It causes hurt feelings and frustration. Why can't people just tell yo...

Over the years, I've grown a lot. I've been shell shocked by my first tech job, by my first game job, by finding myself in new places with new faces and even by being well known over the internet. And there's something to be said for knowing who you are, what you shine at and how to make money off of it. I find myself in new environments, but whatever I do, my process and my actions have to feel like me. I feel more brave about being myself than ever before. I'm not going to think to myself, "oh people don't want this talent. I'll try to be something else." It's a fine line. You market yourself a certain way, but you never quite act in a way that isn't part of your character. You can never be someone you're not. And that's good, because more importantly, you have to step into work where you feel like yourself, you can be yourself, and that work is going to be the most beautiful. It gets complex knowing what you do and what you do...