Design and Culture Thoughts of the Day

So, I'm a business owner. And the dialog has totally shifted: "Close the deal. Close the deal, and a contract should be coming your way. Close, close, close." Now that we know our value, how do we get other people to see it? Promotion, marketing, funneling, sales calls. The good news is that there's no need to do any other social media updates... for now. That's like creating content for free. How have I found clients in the past? Facebook. Connecting with people in the industry, chatting with them about their project, upcoming events. This week, I found a Facebook ad on a kid's toy, and decided to message them cold and try to sell a service. Something that's crucial to note... listen to them first. 80% of the dialog should be from them, but I introduce myself lightly. And it's not an intuitive formula-- because I still don't believe they realize why they need UX research. It's hard to explain that to someone who isn't in tech. It...

They say, "know your value" but what does that mean? Hopefully it doesn't mean comparing myself to a mule and selling myself?! Of course not. But how do you quantify your value? How do you know what kind of impact your work has made? I'm going to break down the following brilliant and on-point article into simpler, more approachable steps-- or habits or thought processes rather than steps. It's an excellent article, but there's a problem with it. It uses experienced corporate language to explain simple things, and this makes it unapproachable for recent grads, and those inexperienced with business and the corporate world. So-- let's begin de-coding. Research Your Market Value My value? Ew. I don't give anyone else the right to determine my value. This article is encouraging me to determine it for myself. I have to know how much money I want to make or someone is going to low-ball me. How do I know? People want to keep money in their own pockets...

Bay Area Womxn in Games constantly works to include transwomen and has a spectacular board of advisors from a variety of backgrounds. We are open to new leadership. Here's one example of how we have striven to include speakers of all backgrounds, despite the closed-minded tendency of sponsors and other organizations. I'm responsible for the first 2 years of the Bay Area Womxn in Games conference. When we partnered up with Women in Games International (WIGI) we were thrilled to finally meet our goal after 2 years of independent organizing. We were going to meet the organization that started it all, who inspired us to create a local organization in the first place, and they invited us to their board meeting. However, as we attended a few meetings, the conversations became more and more depressing. The people who were elected to be leaders did not know how to lead. After all, you have a team of unpaid volunteers. Let them be motivated to contribute the way that their natural s...

Let's face it. When you're looking for work in the industry of your dreams, it's really easy to think wishfully. No one wants to suspect that so many start-up companies are here to rip you off. Sometimes you don't plan on working for free, but you end up working for free.  How does that happen? Start-ups are notorious for looking for young people who have no problem working for free. If you don't have rent to pay and just love to code, you may be completely fine working for free. And start-ups know that. They wishfully think that this type of person is you.  They may also ignore and avoid your subtle attempts to discuss money and negotiate contracts with you as well. You may feel rude asking about money, and you may trust that they're going to do what's right and pay you. This kind of trust is tragically dangerous. So let's look at some warning signs at when a company expects you to work for free, and are so eager to get the app built, that the...

https://www.facebook.com/frankmalaba/videos/10157573425550242/UzpfSTEwNTg0NjAwNjE6MTAyMTcxODE2NDY4Njc0NDI/

Sometimes before starting a project, you have to emotionally unpack. It's hard to stand up and do a talk when you're carrying baggage from your past career endeavors. You just feel like you're hiding something. My former self, a young early-20-something, knew it all along. I wouldn't want to tell my past self what I've gone through. I wouldn't want to discourage her. Honestly, it's okay, and I'm fine. But here's the depressing truth (that a worried and pessimistic recent college grad could predict)-- most of the previous projects on my resume that I can use to bolster my credentials were lead by corrupt leaders. All of them men. It's hard for me to talk about Gameheads because I don't want to think about the problems that the organization's culture had, how that kept me from contributing, and what I now know about the leadership there. Honestly, I can't say much about it without overstepping my bounds in a problematic way. Onl...

Being a freelancer is no longer feasible. I'm completely jaded about every corporate job at Facebook or Google. They don't want people like me. They don't want people who are creative or think for themselves. They want people who fit... the Mold. I'm a dynamic person and I deserve my own business. My thoughts on starting a business before starting one: 1. Why go through the trouble of starting your own company when there are so many out there you can join?  Well, see my previous posts on that one. Company cultures, personalities and attitudes, inability to make a real living or a real wage. Still pissed at EA for only hiring me as a contractor for 21.00/ hour. And I lived with it! I couldn't even pay my rent on that. Who could? 2. Doesn't it cost money to get started? What if that becomes a total loss? Getting started isn't hard when you read up on how the professionals do it. It cost me like nothing to read a business book my friend lent me, but...

I'm caught between two opposing forces. I'm working for a start up company that seems to have brought me back to my blog again. If you're curious this post won't be made public until I leave this place. It seemed to come at the perfect time. I joined a startup company that aims to create a social media network for diverse candidates in all fields. I went out of my way (at least I was paid) to comb through my contacts and get them excited about this platform. I've been here a few weeks, and thought the CEO is a bit "agro," (I figure that is just the way one gets things done. I've been a bit aggressive while driving a product, from the ground up) generally everyone at the company seems very nice and talented. I'm very proud of my team and I realize even more that diversity and inclusion is a prominent field where I can shine. Slowly, starting last week, I begin to dig through old posts. The website used to be a social group kind of thing, that wa...

I wasn't prepared to not get paid. But then, I was working for a start-up. That feeling when you schedule a 1:1 just to get the money you worked for. They give you the check, probably not knowing that you plan on leaving. If you told them flat-out that you were leaving, they would probably "forget" to pay you or just ghost on paying. They finish the conversation saying "let's keep the conversation going." Then you get your money, by calling a meeting, explaining why you need the money (WTF) and what you plan to do for the rest of the month (but you don't-- you plan to leave). And then you feel bad leaving. But you have to remember, they asked you to work for free, and you can't do that. So you take your last check and leave. I've had to jump through hoops to get my last check many times before. What's worse than disappointing me with crappy culture and late paychecks, is wasting the very thing that keeps me going -- my time and energ...

At 18 years old, I didn't want to go into student debt, because I was told I wouldn't pay it back. My parents insisted that I should go to a university because I have high potential and shouldn't waste it. After school, it was the economic recession of 2009 and I got a job at a start up company, but lost it three months later when the company was bought out. It would be years until I worked at a tech company again, since I had little experience. Without many options left for my career, I went to graduate school. My staff were always much too busy to work with me but I managed to graduate. My quality of education was very low, without much support from my staff. But my tuition bill is very high. I apply to tech companies and I live in the bay area but this doesn't make it much easier to find a job. I was laid off from my tech job in 2016, and I have only found contracts ever since. I don't pay high rent, and live outside of the city. But I never have enough money...

Both of the Facebook communities I’ve started have successfully connected people in their profession. Bay Area Womxn In Games is a place people turn to to find jobs and connect for collaborations. Bay Electronic Music Performers has been a place where people team up with other musicians to form a lineup at a show. I’ve learned so much from both and I’m now a master networker. Both groups are self sustaining and other people have kept it up of their own accord. There’s no business license or anything involved. It’s more of a social impact thing. I’m creating the future. The scenes that I want to see. Honestly now that I’ve made my bed in both groups, I sort of have to decide if I want to lay in them. Womxn in Games...  as proud of it as I am, may not be my permanent home. I’m no longer in games, I am sorry to say, and I feel it’s too idealistic to be in them again. Namely because I don’t usually find my kind of tribe, my kind of people in Games. It sucks. I’m interested in indie...

"Are you going to do it, or are you going to make me do it? Can I hand you this work and walk away and when I come back... can it magically be made perfect, just like I expected?" "I don't want to tell you what to do because I'm afraid it's bossing you around. And I have no idea how to ask nicely if you need help." "... You expected guidance? Why didn't you tell me? I can't read your mind!" None of us can. :p I can't believe it when I find myself still dealing with these kinds of communication breakdowns as a professional adult. It's just the same as deciding who is going to vacuum the house, and how often, back when I was living in the dorms freshmen year. Roles and role relationships need to be set in stone, pre-decided and discussed thoroughly. With visual diagrams on the overall pipeline. Otherwise all of this tug-of-war is just unsustainable. It causes hurt feelings and frustration. Why can't people just tell yo...

Over the years, I've grown a lot. I've been shell shocked by my first tech job, by my first game job, by finding myself in new places with new faces and even by being well known over the internet. And there's something to be said for knowing who you are, what you shine at and how to make money off of it. I find myself in new environments, but whatever I do, my process and my actions have to feel like me. I feel more brave about being myself than ever before. I'm not going to think to myself, "oh people don't want this talent. I'll try to be something else." It's a fine line. You market yourself a certain way, but you never quite act in a way that isn't part of your character. You can never be someone you're not. And that's good, because more importantly, you have to step into work where you feel like yourself, you can be yourself, and that work is going to be the most beautiful. It gets complex knowing what you do and what you do...

Some people seem to think that being a community organizer stifles your individuality. Or that being a woman of color, or a leader of a marginalized group takes you away from your creativity and your dreams. Don't worry- it doesn't. Maybe this is similar to being the matriarch of the family and the myth that good parents care about others more than they care about themselves. This is a falsehood that is used to demean jobs that consist of emotional labor or positions that are traditionally given to women. We all know that our personal experiences make us unique and our passion gives us the fire to create. Not only to create products but also to create the change you want to see in the social world. You have to believe in it and lead the way in order to see change. Of course there are some who won't be able to keep up with you. But, having a personality has very much to do with having a perspective, so the politics that you surround yourself with does make you who yo...

Whilst away from the game industry, I find myself teaching English at a private school. I'm still selling my UX skills to various VR companies whenever possible. Gameheads is over for me this year, as I struggle to find my footing in games and VR again. This Monday morning, I am on the schedule at said private school to observe a session with a teacher and student for training purposes. The student is known for some variety of behavior issues, so I am to sit in an observation room, an office room just nextdoor to the student's learning session. A laptop is placed in his room with the teacher, unbeknownst to him. He is a boy about 10 years old, with seemingly advanced spatial / visual abilities but little ability to sit still and focus. I am given a laptop with a headset, and I am connected with a Facetime session, where I can see the student and his teacher in the room next to me via their laptop camera. I can see the back of the kid's head as he faces his teacher. His ...

This is a talk that examines creativity and education that I wrote circa 2012. I was a teacher, song writer and design graduate student at the time. How authenticity can get lost when money is involved.  The artistic process How many of you who make things recognize the following familiar questions from people-- and if you're not creative I would like to argue that you just haven't discovered your creative talent yet. Those of you who make stuff, (song or movie or painting or artisan customized bicycle or whatever) Show of hands if people ask you– “where did you get the idea for that?” Show of hands if people ask you, “how long did that take to make?” OR EVEN “how did you do it?” And that's a big one isn't it? People want to know about the process. I know a bunch of artists and programmers and metal workers and they have a hard time keeping track of their process. How much time went by? What was the journey of the project like? For me, whe...

It seems that all industries are interested in paying their employees less. A fascinating speech by renowned author, Ursula K Le Guin. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/nov/20/ursula-k-le-guin-national-book-awards-speech

Twice in the last six months, I came across start-up companies that tout diversity as a PR tactic, but avoided paying me like the plague. So, actions speak louder than words. What if a company says they're about diversity, but they lowball their female employees, and try to fabricate a fake company team, using the images of women that they don't pay? This is what happened with Robobev / Infinifill at the start of this year. Or, like Radd3, break their promises to students and say off-record that they don't want to hire any more women, because "what it comes down to is that men have been working with hardware their whole lives." The owner at Radd3 had said he was all about diversity when I first came to the company, and that he wanted to "show the world that women and minorities can also use and work in technology." Below is an actual slide that was used to promote a team to potential applicants and investors... I designed it myself. Then, the other fem...

This article came out recently, and takes a strong stand on insider/ outsider culture. https://www.greatplacetowork.com/resources/articles/1071-outsider-cultures-are-costing-tech-companies-innovation-productivity-and-talent-losses

Confidence - balancing self-promotion and confidence with being outgoing, but modest. Criticism - how to take criticism well, while using your senses about where the person is coming from. Concerns: What if... They are wrong and you are being mislead? Is the person your side or not? Does this person mean well or not? It's often hard to say. This person is just trying to piss you off?? Remember... Everybody gets criticized More success -- > More criticism Criticism is often a necessary part of personal growth Some people who criticize are on your side It's impossible to design / create things without criticism Successful people are always learning how to improve Rude v.s. Has a Point Matrix How to take Feedback / Criticism When people say take criticism, this doesn't mean that you think they're right. It can just mean that you're angry and you're emotionally reacting (don't let it ruin your day, don't let it trigger your imposter ...